Little House
The Fray
She doesn't look, she doesn't see
Opens up for nobody
Figures out, she figures out
Narrow line, she can't decide
Everything short of suicide
Never hurts, nearly works
Something is scratching its way out
Something you want to forget about
A part of you that'll never show
You're the only one that'll ever know
Take it back when it all began
Take your time, would you understand
What it's all about
Something is scratching its way out
Something you want to forget about
No one expects you to get up
All on your own with no one around
i'd say that 'something' is the real self and it's trying to get past all the masks. well, good luck then. i hope she finds her freedom.
CLAUDIA "Why have you called me Louis? Why have you roused me from my wandering sleep for your own consolation? Why wasn't memory enough?"
"I come demanding why you've called me, Louis; what is it you would have me give you now? In life did I not give you all my love?"
LOUIS"Claudia, where is your spirit? Is it at rest or does it wander? Would you have me come to you? Claudia, I'm ready to do it. Claudia I'm ready to be at your side."
CLAUDIA"You? Come to me? You, after all those many years of evil tutelage, you think that I in death would be united with you? I loathe you evil Father."
"Father understand me, I never could find words to tell you truths when I was living. In this measureless place I have no use for such curses. What is it to tme, the love you lavished on me once in a vibrant and feverish world?"
"You want vows from me. And from the coldest heart imaginable I condemn you - condemn you that you took my life - condemn you that you had no charity for the mortal I once was, condemn you that you saw in me only what filled your eyes and insatiable veins...condemn you that you brought me over into the lively Hell which you and Lestat so richly shared."
"Take your life, yes, give it up in memory of me, yes, I would have you do it, i would have you give over to me your last breath. Do it with pain for me, Louis, do it with pain that I may see your spirit through the whirlwind, struggling to free itself from your tormented flesh."
"Oh, how it will warm my soul to see you suffer, oh, how it will speed me on my endless wanderings. Never would I linger to be with you here. Never would I wish for it. Never would I seek you out in the abyss."
"Such pride, that you would call me out of your habitual misery. Such pride that you would bring me here to answer your common prayers. How immense is your self-pity, that you don't fear me, when I - had I the power - would take your life with my own hands."
"Die for me my doting one, I think I shall like it. I shall like it as much as I liked the sufferings of Lestat, which I can scarce remember. I think, yes, that I might know pleasure once again, briefly, in your pain. Now,if you are done with me, done with my toys and your memories, release me that I may return to forgetfuness. I cannot recall the terms of my perdition. I fear I understand eternity. Let me go."
LOUIS"Forgive me."CLAUDIA"Did you think I wasn't suffering, Father? Did you think that death had freed me from all my pain? That's what you thought, wasn't it, Father, and if you called my ghost, you'd take away some precious consolation from my very lips. You believed that God would give you that, didn't you? It seemed very right for you after all your penitential years."
LOUIS"The gates can't be locked to you, Claudia. That would be too monstrous a cruelty-"CLAUDIA"To whom, Father? Too monstrous a cruelty to you? I suffer, Father, I suffer and I wander; I know nothing, and all I once knew seems illusory! I have nothing, Father. My senses are not even a memory. I have nothing here at all."
"Did you think I'd tell you nursery stories about Lestat's angels? Did you think I'd paint a picture of the glassy heavens with palaces and mansions? Did you think I'd sing to you some song learnt from the Morning Stars? No, Father, you will not draw such ethereal comfort from me."
"And when you come following me I shall be lost again, Father. How can I promise I shall be there to witness your cries or tears?"
"Come, Louis, come into this dreary place with me, and leave behind your comforts - leave behind your wealth, your dreams, your blood-soaked pleasures. Leave behind your ever hungry eyes. Leave it all, my beloved, leave it for this dim and insubstantial realm."
LOUIS"Claudia, please, I beg you..."CLAUDIA"Come to me, Father. Come to me. Come, do it with deep pain, as your offering. You'll never find me, Come."
--excerpt from MERRICK by Anne Rice--
So what do you think of Claudia?
follow a healthy dietexercise regularlyavoid alcoholic beveragesavoid smoking cigarettes... the list goes on... and what do you get for following all of these? a senior citizen's card, 20% discount. haha. no thanks. i'm not planning to live that long anyway. i mean. hello?! has anyone ever thought of this: what's the point in prolonging a life that you don't even enjoy?
you follow all these strict rules just so you don't get sick. and why wouldn't you want to get sick? because you want to live longer. people used to believe that this is the definition of "living life to the fullest", but it's not. it's more about living each day as if it is your last. so tell me, who would want to do push ups on the last day of their life? haha. now you see the point.
if eating makes you happy then by all means, INDULGE. if sleeping makes you happy then by all means, INDULGE. what are you scared of? never mind what others will say. you're just living life to the fullest.
we are only on this planet for a brief visit. why waste time trying to prolong your stay instead of enjoying every minute of it?
